The Momma.

The momma. My momma. I love my mom. I really do. It is the most dynamic and changing relationship that I have.

My mom got pregnant with me when she was 18. She and my dad were loosely engaged with no real plans for getting married anytime soon. My mom was going to go to college or going to Washington DC to continue her work with Senator Bruce Vento. Her future was bright and exciting.

My mother hadn’t graduated high school yet. She was still living at home. She found out by herself that she was pregnant and hadn’t shared it with anyone yet. She decided that she was going to keep it whether my dad or her mom liked it or not.

The morning that my grandma found out is the morning that my seven uncles all refer to as “The Day the Roof Blew off the House and Landed in the Same Place.” My Grandma Katie walked into my mom’s bedroom and asked why she hadn’t been using any pads. My mom was half asleep. She muttered that she was pregnant. Apparently my grandma exploded. She told my mom that she was getting an abortion. She told my mom that she was going to college. She told my mom “that was that.” She called my paternal Grandma Nora (who she had never met) and told her that my mom was pregnant. She told my extremely God fearing Grandma Nora that if her son had kept his pecker in his pants than my mom wouldn’t have been in this situation. My dad found out third hand.

My mom skipped school to go tell my dad about it. She was ready to do all this by herself. He told her that he would be with her in this. They would do this together.

My mom and dad were a lot younger than my brothers and I when they became parents. There was never really much extra money but we never felt it. The power was always working, we were never hungry, we got bikes (purchased on sale with their whole tax refund). We got a normal childhood.

My parents never finished college. They barely started. They have three children who all have college degrees, own their own homes and HAVEN’T GIVEN THEM GRANDCHILDREN. I have to laugh because that is their constant “disappointment.” Not really. But Mom did ask for grandkids for Christmas last year.

The likelihood of us being successful in life was slim being the children of “pregnant teenagers.” There was a 25% chance of graduating if we enrolled in community college. All three of us did. Of those graduates who enrolled in a 4-year college there was a 25% chance of graduating. Come December, two of us will have achieved that. My parents beat the odds. How? My mom & dad were awesome.

My mom forced me kicking and screaming into education. Right after school every day I had to read a book I brought home to her. I H-AT-E-D reading. With a passion. It gave me the tools that I needed to start a long passionate love affair with books. Math was exceedingly difficult for me growing up. I can’t say that I’m a math whiz now, but my mom spent endless hours with me and flashcards helping me memorize my times tables. It was a struggle but it got me by. It was time that she could have spent doing something else but my times tables were important to her. My education was important to her.

My mom and I have had a tumultuous relationship, but as I get older I slowly understand and appreciate all the sacrifices she has made and the time that she has given up to make sure that we were able to achieve the success that we have. It’s mostly her doing. Today the best I can do is give her the thanks that she deserves. Thanks Mom! I love you!